5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

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5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  Cozy.little.tomb. on Mon Aug 17, 2009 11:18 am

1. I have to go to work at 9 tomorrow and bust my ass in a hot field like a migrant worker for twelve hours.
2. School starts in two weeks and I have strayed very far from my "Summer Goals" list.
3. I haven't seen my boyfriend since June, since apparently he has tons of time to go to Missouri and Anime Iowa and shit but he can't drive three hours to visit me (even though for his birthday i borrowed my grandma's car and $200 from my mom and made him dinner and a fucking cake and stayed for three days). And i can't let him know what an insecure twat i am and every time he doesn't call me i imagine 500 other girls he could be having fun with, because that would just be dramatic and apparently we're "above" being dramatic and can't even fight like a normal couple. ARGHH.
4. I haven't talked to my best friend in over a year, for very good reasons, and I'm pretty sure she's still a giant bitch, but why do I still have dreams about her every night?
5. I'm going to bust my ass in college for the next two years, barely make the Dean's list, graduate, try to get a job in a publishing house, and then still end up a bitter fat housewife with too much time and waaaay too many papers about Shakespeare.

Now, 5 reasons why i should shut the fuck up about the previous five reasons:

1. Oh come on work isn't that bad and i'm getting paid a bunch which is more than i can say for my unemployed parents so why am i complaining?
2. But i totally read a bunch of books AND got a job like i said i would, and who wants to lose weight when it's 800 degrees out anyway?
3. I love him, he loves me, we're happier when we're together and long distance is difficult for everyone, especially non-emotive passive aggressive awkward nerds. Everything will be much better when we can wollop each other in a couple rounds of Guitar Hero.
4. Forget her, life is too short to fret about the people that bring you down.
5. Or on the bright side, I could get run over by the corn tractor tomorrow and won't even NEED that English degree.
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Re: 5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  norris6489-Vic on Mon Aug 17, 2009 7:34 pm

hahaha. I really enjoyed reading that. Especially 3&4 and its rebuttals. Smile
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Re: 5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  Breenis on Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:49 pm

Ahh Cozy, this was sooo fun to read. I think you and I would get along great in real life. You're the only person who can a) complain without being obnoxiously whiney and b) be positive without being annoyingly perky. And if you make yourself laugh as much as you make me laugh, just read rebuttal #5 over and over and over. It definitely put me in a good mood.

Now, not to take away from you, but you've inspired me to let out the top five things that have been plaguing my mind.

1. My job is the most boring job in history and I feel like I haven't used my brain since April. Seriously, I mean, working in a government office you'd think I'd have a bit of brain stimulation based on the subject matter alone (we give grants to non-profits in order to help develop communities economically). But all I do, even when I'm doing "hard stuff" (filling out forms) is 'click... click... type two words... click... select... continue...' etc. Fucking Macros. Using macros in WordPerfect Documents is the equivilant of doing Wii Sports while sitting down. For my brain.
2. "Back to School" are the most depressing words EVER. Seriously, why is it August 1st everyone suddenly acts like summer is over. Hello, people, the water is still warm, the sun is still shining, and you want to get to Staples to get a freakin' backpack? What's worse is this is when overly trendy fashion hits the shelves and I just want to puke. How come when it was all I wore, plaid was gross and dykish and now it's "hot?" And JUST when I had made a vow to stop wearing so much. You people make me sick!
3. I haven't seen Luke in forever. Nor have I even gotten to call him or talk to him online. He has absolutely no cell reception where he's staying, and the little wireless that he gets only works in the Main House, which he's only in when he is working thus can't really talk online.
4. My sister is a dumb selfish bitch who is making terrible decisions regarding her wedding plans (1. She first said she didn't want anyone under twelve at her wedding, but since her fiance's first cousins are little kids and our first cousins are in their thirties WITH little kids, she HAS to invite his first cousins becuase it wouldn't be "fair." 2. She doesn't want to spring for wine on her tables and is thanking her guests for traveling an average of 700 km each with a mere $19/plate buffet dinner, but she is spending her money on a spa day for her and her bridesmaids and a professional makeup artist), insulting me and my family (I am not a bridesmaid, nor is my brother involved, but oh, she wants me to FILM the wedding?! I'm not good enough to be her bridesmaid but I'm good enough to be her hired help?!) and squeezing more and more money out of my parents which could be going towards helping me pay rent instead of her damn makeup artist.
5. I... miss... my... mom.

But... inspired by Cozy once again, sufficient rebuttals.
1. I get paid $15.37 an hour and will get even more when they take me back next year, I get to drive a company vehicle (even if it IS a domestic car, I HATE American-made cars) for free, and I get to go on the board all day.
2. At least everyone is at Staples and no longer crowding up the beach by my place, plus, I keep forgetting that now that I'm out of high school, I LIKE school!
3. He's working really hard and he loves his job, and I know he misses me. He sends me a long, novel-like e-mail every few days and he's really got a way with words. Plus I know he's not foolin' around because he's isolated 24/7 and if he were IN town, his phone would ring.
4. Uh, I... um... yeahhh, I really can't find a positive side to that.
5. I only have two weeks left here and I'm sure by the time I'm back home for two days I'll want to be gone again.
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Re: 5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  Cozy.little.tomb. on Tue Aug 18, 2009 8:18 am

Lol bree u make me laugh. ohhh no Bree your sister is a Bridezilla! I would totally feel snubbed if i didn't get to be a bridesmaid at any of my sisters' weddings. Here's how i'm sure our weddings would go (in chronological order of who popped out of Mama first): Hannah would spend an impractical amount of money on a wedding made entirely out of vegan recyclables, and then ditch five minutes into the ceremony with the groom's best friend; I would probably make my guests dress up in costumes and insist on a red wedding dress and a procession of dogs instead of a flower girl; Laura would invite us all to her beach wedding which would start 3 hours late and end with everyone getting wasted and skinny dipping; and Angie would wear her fairy wings and spend $20 on decorations for her night wedding, which would be mostly spent on candles.
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Re: 5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  Joey-GaGa on Thu Aug 20, 2009 5:57 am

Cozy.little.tomb. wrote:1. I have to go to work at 9 tomorrow and bust my ass in a hot field like a migrant worker for twelve hours.
2. School starts in two weeks and I have strayed very far from my "Summer Goals" list.
3. I haven't seen my boyfriend since June, since apparently he has tons of time to go to Missouri and Anime Iowa and shit but he can't drive three hours to visit me (even though for his birthday i borrowed my grandma's car and $200 from my mom and made him dinner and a fucking cake and stayed for three days). And i can't let him know what an insecure twat i am and every time he doesn't call me i imagine 500 other girls he could be having fun with, because that would just be dramatic and apparently we're "above" being dramatic and can't even fight like a normal couple. ARGHH.
4. I haven't talked to my best friend in over a year, for very good reasons, and I'm pretty sure she's still a giant bitch, but why do I still have dreams about her every night?
5. I'm going to bust my ass in college for the next two years, barely make the Dean's list, graduate, try to get a job in a publishing house, and then still end up a bitter fat housewife with too much time and waaaay too many papers about Shakespeare.

Now, 5 reasons why i should shut the fuck up about the previous five reasons:

1. Oh come on work isn't that bad and i'm getting paid a bunch which is more than i can say for my unemployed parents so why am i complaining?
2. But i totally read a bunch of books AND got a job like i said i would, and who wants to lose weight when it's 800 degrees out anyway?
3. I love him, he loves me, we're happier when we're together and long distance is difficult for everyone, especially non-emotive passive aggressive awkward nerds. Everything will be much better when we can wollop each other in a couple rounds of Guitar Hero.
4. Forget her, life is too short to fret about the people that bring you down.
5. Or on the bright side, I could get run over by the corn tractor tomorrow and won't even NEED that English degree.

Aw cozy, look at this lil dude alien

he always makes me happy when I'm gloomy.
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Re: 5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  Breenis on Thu Aug 20, 2009 2:13 pm

Cozy, I wanna be at your wedding!

I have a strange request for mine. My mom is a church organist but she hates "traditional" music especially for weddings; and she abhores the Wedding March. Now, I've always thought the Wedding March was similar to the theme from "Rocky" (in its opening triad) so I want to walk down the aisle to the theme from "Rocky."
Also, i want the 'Thriller' dance performed at my funeral.
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Re: 5 Reasons why life sucks, followed by rebuttals

Post  Cozy.little.tomb. on Fri Aug 21, 2009 7:46 am

omg if i ever saw people dancing the thriller dance at a cemetary i would probably film it.
my mom hates the wedding march too. she made me hate it. i hate it when they use it in like every chick flick ever. but then that's not a very high standard of movie making creativity to follow anyway
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