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Post Your Favorite Uncyclepedia Pages:

Post  Jonny-boy on Sun Aug 23, 2009 1:22 am

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Fashion & Demeanor

Emo clothing is typically black, mixed with smaller amounts of shockingly bright colors, especially, but not limited to, their hair. While emo hair is mostly black as well, there are often flamboyantly bright highlights.

Emos tend to favor one-eyed hair cuts. Some believe this hairstyle to have stemmed from a lack of self-esteem or so that they can look more like God, but it is more commonly believed that they only have one eye.

They can be easily identified by their ridiculously tight jeans if male (stolen from sister's closet or bought at Macy's). Specifically for the males, wearing tight pants, white studded belts, and small band t-shirts are prevalent. Piercings, eyeliner, and long hair are also common but not necessary.

It is often times very difficult to identify the gender of an emo, and even the emo themself may not be entirely sure of their sex. Many of the emo kind express this by saying they are bisexual. Contrary to popular belief, this is not just a fashion trend; they just cannot decide whether they are male or female.

Many enjoy taking pictures of themselves with one side of their face showing, as if they are ashamed of being them. This, like the haircut, further leads people to believe that emos have only one eye. Smiling in pictures is rare, and it is common to give the peace sign sideways for no apparent reason.

A majority of those in the emo subculture are vegetarians. To make it easier on the reader, have you ever encountered someone that is stupid to always "do what mommy tells them to do" and knows that his or parents are "always right? An emo eats healthy because of another cause of his or her tears; health. Emos are afraid of dying even though they cut, slap, punch, or do weird things to themselves.

It is common to see an emo eating a large salad, fruits, and vegetables while looking rather pathetically at a "normal" person consuming a tasty hamburger. Obviously, the emo may live longer because of his or her "natural, healthy diet" but the normal person may live even longer because at least he knows how to live. You don't see the person eating the nice, tasty burger punishing theirselves when they did something wrong. You don't see them cry hysterically a lot.

Others who push the self-righteousness further follow the "sxe" lifestyle, also known as "Straight Edge", where they refuse to drink, smoke, eat, or have sex (including masturbation). Masturbation is often to pictures of nerd girls with large bodies, dark hair, and glasses with large, black frames. Don't misunderstand this, those girls are not hot. That's why they are on porn sites or living with families long after college. So, there has been little noted distinction between the "Straight Edge" lifestyle and the moral code of Catholicism. At least not yet.

It is 100% absolutely true that being "emo" constitutes committing self-harm, writing poetry, being depressed, and identifying one's self as bisexual. There are many other characteristics of the emo subculture, but further research is needed to accurately describe them.

Natural habitat

Emos enjoy dark, dry places and middle-class suburbs.

Another place of interest is, in fact, their own bathroom. They derive entertainment out of taking pictures of the reflections of themselves, often showing the camera flash. This has proven another fact, that emos are horrible photographers. With all this in mind, common logic would be to shun them from society, or throw them into a pack of wild wolves. It should also be noted that if one were to want to see an example of an emo, all they would have to do is look on MySpace.

When roaming outside of their homes, they can be found at their local high school amongst their peers. In this environment, the emo's natural predator is the jock. They're also commonly found roaming the local mall in abundance, specifically around Hot Topic and stores near it. In order to go past this area, a gas mask and earmuffs are required. Don't ask why! Just do it! Emos will often attend a concert (referred to as a "show"), standing completely still. Homoeroticism may ensue, so if you ever find yourself in this position, get the fuck out!

Other habitats include browsing at the local record store (rarely ever purchasing a record), sitting in dark corners smoking cigarettes, sitting in a park on a child's swing, sitting at that one table outside the coffee shop that was supposed to be for decoration, and volunteering in their local community (sorry, I mistook that for a boy scout...sorry...). They seem to fart around in their local Hot Topic stores nowadays since it's the only place that "understands them."

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Re: Post Your Favorite Uncyclepedia Pages:

Post  Nigel on Sun Aug 23, 2009 7:58 am


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